


all at the end

by preromantics



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Mind Meld
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-29
Updated: 2010-05-29
Packaged: 2017-10-09 18:53:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/90460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/preromantics/pseuds/preromantics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Spock's hand shakes when he tries to raise it, which is what Kirk notices first, which is what makes him realize how serious the situation is.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	all at the end

**Author's Note:**

> SWC Three: 5/29/10.

Spock's hand shakes when he tries to raise it, which is what Kirk notices first, which is what makes him realize how serious the situation is.

"Captain," Spock says, the word coming out slow and pained, "Kirk -- Jim --"

Kirk rolls forward on his stomach as best as he can. His name in Spock's voice is echoing in his head along with the dull ache of being hit too many times.

"I can't be beamed back in this condition," Spock says, words coming on every other breath.

Kirk can't help himself, he reaches forward to touch the wound on Spock's side where his shirt is ripped, fingering the frayed edges of carbon-reinforced material. Spock doesn't move, but Kirk can feel his eyes watching. He can't say anything back, only be steady in his resolve that he will not leave his first officer, his friend, his --

"You have to go now," Spock says, more urgently, "before they come back." He pauses, eyes shutting for a second and Kirk presses harder into the skin on Spock's ribs that isn't slick with blood. "I inspected the atmosphere around us, you should have no --"

Kirk keeps his head bowed, staring down at where his fingers are pressed. They are stained green, wet, leaving trails on the upper part of Spock's skin that is unblemished and pale. "Not without you," he says, cutting Spock off.

"That is --" Spock starts. He's wheezing and Kirk shuts his eyes as tight as he can.

"Illogical?" Kirk finishes for him, barely a breath, trying to laugh -- his throat is too dry and his sides ache. If only he had been quicker, better, if he hadn't allowed Spock to watch his back, if --

Kirk senses the movement before he feels it: Spock's hand moving down towards his own, fingers barely brushing against Kirk's open palm, the one not pressed into Spock's side.

"Spock," Kirk says, but it sounds distant, and when he touches his fingers to Spock's, fingertip-to-fingertip, everything blurs at the edges, just a little.

He gets the sense of colors, urgent red and fluid blues; he feels -- more than his own feelings, the desperation he feels, kneeling down over Spock where he sees himself, just barely, through Spock's eyes. The overwhelming sense of loss, of -- of longing, things Spock has never outwardly shown and things Jim has always, always felt.

"Not like this," Kirk says, hearing his own voice echo like they are in a tunnel. It's not even what he meant to say.

"You must leave," Spock says, and his words feel like they mean everything at once. Kirk thinks distantly, _Stay_, but thinks it didn't exactly come from his own mind.

Kirk can hear himself saying 'no', can feel his jaw moving with it, but when Spock twists his hand away, abruptly, Kirk can see the word formed on Spock's lips, too.

They stare at each other. Kirk's senses are heightened, he can feel Spock's body next to him like he's pressed up against his side instead of just against Kirk's knees. He can hear shouting in the background, a fight, maybe, but Spock's eyes have closed and Kirk can only look down at where he's taking shallow breaths, seeing and unseeing at the same time.

Kirk doesn't know how long he kneels there, the feeling long gone in his legs, side sticky with his own blood and fingers with Spock's.

The door to their holding room opens with sudden force after a few minutes, maybe a few hours -- Kirk doesn't know. The noise from the outside pours inside in a way that makes Kirk bend down, hovering over Spock.

A voice comes -- "Captain, Sir," it says, and Kirk turns fast when he realizes it's Sulu, Bones' "God, Jim, seriously?" following close behind. The mixed and recognizable voices of various members washing over Kirk's back, taking the heavy weight off his spine.

Spock has his eyes barely open when Kirk turns back to him, trained right on Kirk, bright and -- somehow, Kirk knows -- relieved, different. Just for him. They close when Jim feels a heavy hand on his shoulder.

Kirk throws his head back and laughs, feeling too much at once when he presses his hand into Spock's bonelessly outstretched palm, letting himself stand with Bone's insistent pushes to his arm, and not letting his fingers leave Spock's until the very last second.

He gets the vague sense of _'it will be okay'_ and _'thank you, Jim,'_, and even if it's his own mind making it up, Kirk's fingertips still prickle with awareness, his mind with need.


End file.
